If you find that it is no longer realistic for you to continue to look after the person who is ill at home, try not to feel guilty, or that you have failed them and yourself. As their illness develops, their needs may change and a different type of care may make them feel more secure and safe. The demands of caring full-time may be taking their toll on you too. You may both feel that the time has come to make other arrangements.

People will know that you still care about and love your partner, friend or relative, even if you no longer feel able to look after them at home. In fact, letting go of some of the practical responsibilities may allow you to spend more time just being together and you can still help professional staff look after them.

It can help to discuss the situation and consider possible alternative arrangements that you would both feel happy about. If you find this too distressing, tell the GP, district nurse, home care team or social worker that you need more help. They might suggest that the person you are caring for goes into hospital, or spends some time in a hospice.