Caring is very hard work, physically and emotionally. If you have been caring for your friend, relative or partner for some time, you may feel completely drained. It is very easy to carry on, ignoring how exhausted you are, because you feel that only you can do what needs to be done. It's not always easy to ask for help. Many people find it almost impossible. You may have to teach yourself to say yes to offers of help. But having someone else take care of even everyday chores like cleaning, shopping or gardening may take some of the burden off you, and leave you with more time and energy to spend with the person who is ill.

It is important to remember to involve the person who is ill in making decisions about their care. For example, they might decide to go into hospital or a hospice for a while to give you a break.

Help from professionals

Apart from your own network of helpers, most of the support you get will come from the health service, the local social services (social work department in Scotland) and voluntary organisations. The type and amount of support you get will depend on where you live and how the services are organised.

You may already be aware that some services are over-stretched in some areas. It may be difficult to find out what is available locally and how things are organised. You may have to be persistent sometimes to get what you are entitled to. However, you should not have to do this on your own. Social services departments are responsible for making sure that you have all the information you need. They should organise services on your behalf, once the help you need has been identified.