It’s likely that the person you are caring for may want you to be with them at different times during the diagnosis and treatment of their cancer. Some people like to have a high level of independence for as long as possible, while others prefer to have someone with them for most of the time. The amount of support they need may vary from week to week, depending upon what is happening for them and how they are coping.

Going for investigations and tests, and waiting for results, can be a very unsettling time. There may be a number of visits to the hospital for different appointments before the doctors can say it is cancer, which can take up a lot of time. There may be more visits after this so doctors can find out more about the cancer and decide how best to treat it. Usually appointments will be booked in advance so that you can arrange time off work if you need to.

It can be a very difficult time when your relative or friend is told they have cancer. You will both need time to come to terms with the change in your circumstances. This may affect your ability to work effectively. During this time you might want to think about talking to your line manager or the human resources (HR) /personnel manager at work.

The treatment of cancer is individual for each person and depends on factors such as, the stage and grade of the cancer (how far it has spread and how fast-growing it may be), the person’s age and their general health.

The main treatment options are surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. It is fairly common for a combination of treatments to be used. The doctors and nurses can give you further information about the treatments involved and how they may affect your relative or friend.

The exact treatment will be different for each person and type of cancer.

Some operations for cancer will require your relative or friend to stay in hospital for a short time. Sometimes, depending on the situation, the stay may be longer. There may be a period of convalescence after the surgery, when your relative or friend needs more support. You may want to visit the hospital fairly frequently during their admission, and this can be very tiring if you are also working. You may also want to take time off work to care for them in the days and weeks when they first come home. It is important to allow yourself plenty of time to rest.

Chemotherapy is the use of anti-cancer drugs. It is usually given in a chemotherapy unit in the hospital over a period of several months. The treatment is usually given regularly every two or three weeks at scheduled times. Often each session of chemotherapy will involve an afternoon or a full day in the chemotherapy unit; sometimes, however, it may involve a stay overnight or for a few days. This will depend on the type of cancer being treated and the chemotherapy drugs used. Because you may be at the chemotherapy unit for a number of hours, it is a good idea to plan ahead for each visit.

You may want to:

• find out how easy it is to park
• check if you can get any food while you are there, or take a packed lunch
• take something to do or read.

Although chemotherapy is usually given regularly, delays can sometimes occur, depending on how well the person is. It can help to explain this to your key contact at work and try to plan for the unexpected wherever possible.

This period of treatment can be very stressful and exhausting for the person and you may find that they experience mood swings that are out of character. Space for both of you becomes very important.

Radiotherapy treats cancer by using high-energy x-rays. It is typically given on a daily basis, at a specialist unit, over a period of weeks. It is usually given as an outpatient. Although each treatment itself takes only a couple of minutes, the travel time might add considerably to the amount of time you need away from work.

It may be possible to arrange transport to take your relative or friend to their radiotherapy appointments. Some GP surgeries can arrange volunteer drivers; the hospital may also be able to help. You could also ask friends and family about setting up a rota. This is a time when working from home may be useful and it may be worth discussing this with your employer.

Once the main treatments are finished, your relative or friend may have follow-up appointments and further treatment. This can include things such as ongoing medication and check-up appointments, scans and physiotherapy.

Many people who have been treated for cancer get anxious that the cancer will come back. They might worry that new symptoms they have are caused by the cancer, when in reality they may not be cancer related. The uncertainty can be very difficult at a time when they feel they should be getting back to normal.