Cancer can seriously affect your independence, whatever your age. Many people have lived their entire life in a very private and independent way. If you have to rely on others to help you cope or make decisions, watching your independence slipping away can be very upsetting and frightening. Don’t be afraid to explain to those around you how difficult it is.

If it makes you feel better to stay in control, you might want to say something like, ‘I really do appreciate your help right now. I will let you know when I think I am ready to take back this responsibility.’ This leaves you free to take back responsibility when you feel ready.

Often the loss of independence is a temporary situation while you recover from the initial treatment for your cancer. When you feel better you can be assertive and firm in taking back control over your life.

During treatment, it is important to continue doing all the things that you enjoy. Some people find that keeping to as normal a routine as possible is very reassuring. Although energy levels may be lower during treatment, most people find that they have ‘good days’ and ‘less good days’. If you do the more energetic activities on your ‘good days’, you can have ‘lazy days’ on the ‘less good days’.

If you have problems with walking or moving around, it may be difficult for you to get to and from your doctor’s surgery or the hospital. Sometimes your doctor will be able to call to see you at home instead.

If you do not have your own transport and cannot travel by public transport to the hospital, ask your GP about other options. Most areas have volunteer drivers who will take you to outpatients for the cost of the petrol, or your doctor may be able to organise an ambulance or ambulance car.

If you need a course of treatment that involves attending the hospital each day for a few weeks, you may be able to stay in hospital instead of travelling back and forth each day.

You may need several different types of treatment to keep your cancer, and other health problems, under control. It may be difficult to remember to take all your medicines at exactly the right times, for example before or after meals. However, this is usually very important in making sure you get the full benefit from them.

Dosing box

Your doctor may be able to have your medicines delivered in a daily dosing system box (such as a nomad or dosette box) which may make it easier to remember to take them. The pharmacist will provide a box containing all your pills, separated into compartments for the different times of the day and days of the week. You can then see at a glance whether you have taken all your pills correctly.

If you have relatives who are good at understanding complicated treatment schedules, they may be able to sort your pills out into a similar box for you at home on a regular basis.

If you are in hospital for any reason, such as surgery, radiotherapy or chemotherapy, make sure the nurses and doctors arrange all the support you need before they send you home.

The hospital will contact your GP to let them know that you are going home and the GP can then arrange for any care that you need. Services can include district nurses, Marie Curie nurses and Macmillan nurses.

• District nurses can give nursing care, such as dressing wounds.
• Marie Curie nurses give nursing care for a day, or overnight, to people who cannot look after themselves.
• Macmillan nurses can give advice on pain and symptom control and also provide emotional support to people with cancer and their families.

Ensuring that help and support are available at home is particularly important if you live alone. While you are in hospital, you will have people around to help you with even the simplest tasks. It is a big change to go from hospital to home and have to cope with housework, shopping, cooking, laundry, as well as looking after yourself and making sure you take all your medicines correctly.

Although you may be keen to go home as soon as possible, take time to think through whether you are fit enough to cope, and whether you need help with shopping or other tasks. It is usually much easier for the hospital staff to organise the help and support that you need, rather than risk a delay if your GP does it later. If you have family, find out what they will be able to do to help, as it is easy to overestimate how much time they have to spare. Once you get home, if you find you need more help temporarily, don’t be frightened to ask for it.

If you are living independently at home when your cancer is diagnosed, it is important that you have enough money to continue with your normal lifestyle while you are ill. Many older people worry that they will become a financial burden on their partner or children as they get older, and having cancer may make this seem more likely. This should not be the case if you seek out and claim all the benefits that you are entitled to.

If you are retired and have a pension, you may be entitled to other benefits while you are ill. The Benefits Agency has two booklets (IB1 and SD1) which outline all the benefits you may be entitled to. You can get a copy from your local Citizens Advice Bureau or Benefit Agency office, where staff will also be able to advise you about the benefits you can claim. Their addresses and telephone numbers are in the phone book. You can also get information from the Benefit Enquiry Line on 0800 882200 or the Department for Work and Pensions website

The social worker at the hospital can give you advice on sources of financial help. You may also be able to claim grants and benefits from other organisations or charities. Macmillan Cancer Relief gives grants to people with cancer and you can contact its information line for information on how to claim. They have a booklet called Help with the cost of cancer.

A book that gives details of all the trusts and organisations that provide financial support is available from bookshops or local libraries. It is called A guide to grants for individuals in need.

Cancerbackup has a section about financial issues and sources of financial support.

Do remember that you are entitled to claim benefits. During your life you will have paid money in the form of taxes and National Insurance. If you need money, you should not hesitate to claim benefits and enjoy the extra income that they offer.

Each hospital in the UK has a Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS), which can put you in touch with local independent sources of advice on benefits and other aspects of your illness. Your doctor or nurse can tell you how to contact PALS.

Help the Aged offers a free telephone advice service called Seniorline which provides information on welfare rights for older people and their carers – the number to call is 0808 800 6565 (or 0808 800 7575 from Northern Ireland). This line gives advice on a wide range of issues including community or residential care, welfare or disability benefits and housing. Calls to Seniorline are confidential and available throughout the UK from 9am to 4pm Monday to Friday.