People often think that if they have a strong, positive attitude they will cope better with getting over their illness, but the evidence about whether this actually helps them to live longer is unclear. However, you may find that if you are able to reduce your fear and distress you may feel in a better position to recover from the shock of your cancer and to continue enjoying life.

Some psychiatrists and psychologists suggest that an ideal coping strategy is to work through any anger, distress, fear or sadness that you may be feeling. It is healthy to deal with nagging worries and then move on.

Some people who have had cancer have said that they actually feel happier in some ways than they did before their illness, because cancer has forced them to reassess and re-evaluate their lives. They may choose to live differently in some ways, such as:

• doing things that they’ve always wanted to do immediately, rather than putting them off indefinitely
• getting to know friends more deeply
• forming closer family bonds.

Some people find that cancer frees them to express their real desires and needs: for once in their lives they do not feel they have to put others first.

Not everyone has people close to them who can cope with them having had cancer. Sometimes a support group can be helpful, because you may find that you can speak more openly about your feelings than you can at home.

Cancerbackup's Cancer Support Service has details of hundreds of cancer support groups across the UK and can put you in touch with the group nearest you.

You may also find it helpful to talk to a professional cancer counsellor, who is specially trained to listen. Cancerbackup’s nurses can tell you more about counselling and about counselling services in your area. The Cancer Counselling Trust can also offer help: it offers face-to-face counselling at its London office and telephone counselling for people in other parts of the UK.