A diagnosis of cancer is a devastating experience for most people. Cancer affects a person’s family and friends as well as the person with the illness. When a person is first told that they – or someone close to them – have cancer they may feel shocked, numb, and unable to believe what is happening or to feel any emotion. Some people feel as though the situation is happening to someone else, as though they are watching themselves from the outside.
At first you may find that all you can take in is the fact that you or someone close to you has cancer. Often people say that once they‘d been told that they have cancer they did not hear the rest of the conversation at all. One person who had just been diagnosed said 'the doctor's lips were moving, but I couldn't hear any sound coming out'.
You may feel panicky and may have some of the physical symptoms described in the section on panic. You might also find that you can take in only a small amount of information and so you have to keep asking the same questions over and over again. You may need to be told the same bits of information repeatedly. This is a common reaction to shock. Some people find their feelings of disbelief make it hard for them to talk about their illness with their family and friends. Other people feel an overwhelming urge to discuss it with everyone.
Everyone has their own experience of the cancer and how it affects their lives. The diagnosis and treatment may make you feel a range of strong emotions, such as fear, anger, sadness or depression. These emotions can be frightening and difficult to deal with. Over time they generally get easier to cope with, but you often need time to be sad and to reflect before you can adjust to your situation and begin to cope with life again.
Even when you have finished your treatment you may find it difficult to return to your old life. Our section, adjusting to life after cancer treatment, discusses the feelings and emotions that you may have once treatment has ended.
Some people find that the emotions and feelings do not get easier to deal with, and you may need help in learning to cope with them. There are many ways of managing the emotions and feelings that cancer can cause. In this section are suggestions on things that you can do for yourself, as well as other sources of help and support.
If you are very worried about your cancer or are depressed, it can be well worth taking steps to find help. Talking things through with a friend or a professionally trained person, learning to relax, or having complementary therapy can help you to feel much better, even if it can't change your situation.