Some people are lucky. They have a close circle of friends and family that can give them a lot of support. Other people do not have many people to support them.

However, even with a supportive family and a wide circle of friends it can at times be difficult to talk about cancer. There can be a deep feeling of inner isolation and a sense that only people who have experienced cancer can understand your thoughts and feelings.

So, if you want to talk, who is the best person to talk to?

The most likely person is who you usually talked to about important issues, before you had cancer. They know you best and can hopefully give you the support that you need.

If it is difficult to find such a person, maybe there is someone else who you might feel comfortable talking to about difficult problems? It might be anyone – your partner, your closest friend, your mother, sister, brother or a religious leader. It may even be somebody you quite like but haven’t until now, been friends with. Often, people with cancer find it difficult to talk to close family or friends, and find it easier to speak to someone they do not know so well.

Organisations and counselling

If you cannot find anyone to talk to, you can contact one of the listed organisations. You can also ask your doctor or nurse or someone else on your medical team to tell you about any counselling services available. You can also contact the Cancer Counselling Trust.

Support groups

Most areas also have cancer support groups. Support groups consist of people with cancer, sometimes led by a health care professional. Other members of the group may be in a similar position to you, or they may not. It is quite usual for a group to include people with different types of cancer at different stages. You may find this wider experience helps you to see your own problems from a different perspective. Cancerbackup can let you know about support groups in your area.

Some people find groups very helpful, and they form bonds with other members that are deeper and more significant than almost anything in their past. However, other people get embarrassed or uncomfortable when talking about personal issues with strangers. If groups are not your style, don’t worry.

Internet support groups

If there is no group near to you, or you have problems getting to one, you can join internet support groups. There are a number of internet groups for various cancers. These are easy to join and you can ‘talk’ to other people. If you wish, you can stay anonymous and just read the emails of other people on the list. This can be very supportive, as you can find out that other people have similar thoughts, emotions and experiences. It can ease feelings of isolation and can help you learn how to cope with the treatment and live with cancer. Internet groups are easy to join and also easy to leave, without any need for personal contact or explanations.