It is certainly very difficult supporting a loved one going through treatment for cancer, and many relatives say that the hardest thing for them is feeling helpless. However, there are certainly things that you can do to help them through this difficult time.

Both sickness (nausea) and pain are sometimes unfortunately part of cancer and its treatment, but there are now many effective methods for dealing with both of these, and they can be prevented or minimised in most patients. Probably the most useful thing you can do is make sure your wife tells her specialist about her symptoms, and that he or she understands exactly how bad the problem is. Many patients will tell their family (who often can't do anything to help), but don't like to 'bother' their doctor (who often find it difficult to know how to help). Make sure she doesn't wait until the next routine appointment - encourage her to call and talk to a nurse or doctor in the team looking after her, and make a new, urgent appointment if the symptoms continue. The specialist needs to be sure your wife's symptoms are indeed side effects from treatment, and not anything else (for example an infection, or a complication of surgery) which may need specific treatment.

Probably the most common and effective way of dealing with both sickness and pain is with medication. You can help by making sure you both know how to use your wife's medicines properly - many painkillers and anti-nausea medicines work best when taken regularly in a preventive manner, rather than just when needed. There is no risk of her body 'getting used to' the painkillers, or becoming addicted to painkillers when used in this way.

Practical help is also invaluable. Your wife may find preparing meals makes her sickness worse - you can help by doing this yourself or delegating to family members or friends. Help your wife to arrange her diet to minimise her sickness - she may need frequent snacks, and find certain foods are better for her sickness than others are. Distraction is also a good way of forgetting about symptoms - you may be able to find enjoyable activities for your wife to take her mind off things. Tiredness can make both pain and nausea worse. You can make sure your wife is able to rest as often as she likes.

The most important aspect of pain control is usually regular painkillers taken to prevent the pain but heat and cold can also be useful ways of simple pain relief. Experiment with hot water bottles and cold packs to find out if either of these help with your wife's pain.